Home ALONE and MOVING tips for worry warts...Two of my guys, George and especially Keegan, have a tough time being left alone in new spaces and changes in my daily life routine.
Even though they've had years of practice, it's still something, I am very aware, is tough emotionally on them.
Good news is we have a routine that I keep consistent in each new space. This helps me keep my sanity and helps their bodies get used to the change.
Remember that anxiety is really a whole whack of chemicals shooting through your system, shots of adrenaline racing through your body, screaming that something's not right...act now!
I learned that from Dr.Patricia McConnell's book "For the Love Of A Dog" years ago and it keeps things in perspective for me.
I definitely suffer from those same feelings when I'm panicked or anxious about something. Sometimes it's not always a feeling I can talk myself out of either. I have come to rely on friends and family, my support system, to help me work things through. Being in tune with your and the dog's body language is key to understanding what you need to do to help them out.
Whether it's going on vacation and taking the dogs with me: road tripping, staying in cabins, car camping, overnight at friends places or moves to new living spaces, changes in routine...a house guest, a visitor/s, new job, new housemate...new furniture...some dogs just have a really tough time with change of any sort.
In my case this year I've moved from a house with yard in Squamish, to an apartment, no yard, in Vancouver. Then recently I roadtripped it to Calgary and on our way, stayed in a cabin. Our final destination was Calgary last week, and I am now living in a basement suite. All these changes within in the course of a year. I'm fine with it...Keegan, no matter how many bonus' there are to the changes, has a tough time if I leave him in a new space, situation or environment.
Our latest challenge was my move from Vancouver to Calgary just this past week.
What's helped is:
1- DAP diffuser.
2-Naturpet Home Alone remedy (drops on food), we also had success with Vet's Best Comfort & Calm but just so happened that when I went to get a refill it was out of stock, so I bought the Naturpet which is proving just as effective.
3-Making sure they are tuckered out or spend time relaxing, walking, playing outdoors, hunting for kibble, or bike ride and then having time to relax with me (while I check email) PRIOR to my departure. If I were to exercise Keegan then shove him in a kennel I'd come home to a shredded kennel. Secondly, to truly tucker Kee out I'd need to run him off leash in the woods for atleast 5 hours. Even then, I need a cool down period as his body, once aroused and chemicals pumping, will take ATLEAST an hour to cool down and get to a level where he's truly relaxed. KNOWING how long your dog's body takes to calm from exercise is VERY important when you are leaving an anxious dog alone.
4-My departure means Daizy n Keegan get to hang out in their cozy Kennels, George in his pen, which are filled up with bully sticks, kongs of all shapes and sizes, for them to enjoy then settle themselves with until my return.
5-Engage your parents, landlords, friends, neighbors...whomever is within hearing range when you leave and all heck breaks loose! This behavioural challenge requires loads of patience, creative thinking and compassion on everyone within hearing range's part. It takes time to figure out what will work to help relax and make your dog feel secure in the new routine, environment or situation. Let people know you're trying your best. Some neighbors, friends, family will offer or are happy to help out! Ask them!
That's my checklist.
At first my departures are short in duration, quiet when I leave, quiet when I return. I do not return if at all possible if I hear a demand bark. I'll wait for a quiet moment, BUT I will return if the vocalization is distressed. That would be my RED flag that I made the error and was away for too LONG a period of time. My goal is keep time away short at first so their bodies get used to me leaving and coming back, without showing signs of stress. Looking for signs as if they're saying..."hey you're back...I'll be with you after I finish my kong or chewing my bone, or after I'm done my nap". I try to be mindful of coming back when they are relaxed and doing their own thing. I'm happy if they stop to let me know that they're glad I'm home, it's the distress that I try to avoid triggering. There's a difference.
The time required to ensure I've met their emotional, physical needs PRIOR to my departure means their transition will be easier. For my guys the first week is the toughest, but over the course of a month their bodies will relax into a routine, and they'll find comfort in that. Ensuring I meet their physical, and emotional needs prior to my departure, I'll be able to fade the use of stuffed kongs, and kennel. Instead of providing them at departure time in their kennels, they'll enjoy them before hand, then rest where ever they please until my return. That's my countdown. Every dog will be different.
Being compassionate, honest and aware of the early anxiety they express is key to avoiding full blown disaster. I have seen first hand where a dog (foster and my own) have been in such emotional distress that they have lashed out, trying to escape the "feelings", and have left a path of destruction. I have also experienced what it's like to walk into a room and the smell the distress. It's real. I couldn't imagine being that out of my mind afraid for my safety. It NOT something I'm certain any dog or person would WILLFULLY choose to experience. Anyone thinking they do these things out of spite; you need to learn more about the BIOLOGY of fear and anxiety.
Early warning signs of anxiety leading to distress for me with Keegan are; he will be settled, chilled out and relaxed somewhere in the room, eyes closed, while I go about my business.
Then when he notices me walking towards the door, he will get up, and charge over to me....no lazy meandering...he will race to get to me before I reach for the door knob.
By the time he gets to the door, he will begin to whine and pace around me, his mouth will open and start to pant, lines on the side of his face. While he may look like he's smiling and dancing...hopeful that I'll be picking up his leash so he can accompany me, I know that's not the case.
All that may seem harmless, just a "happy, hopeful dog". BUT I know in my case that vocalization will escalate to barking and howling and that destruction from the feeling of being trapped inside WILL occur should I ignore those signs. I am very aware at the early signs that his body is becoming aroused and I KNOW he needs my help to work through settling those "feelings" of distress prior to my departure.
The freedom for me in the long run, to leave with peace of mind that they are relaxed and content on their own, is WELL worth the effort I put in. Ensuring they have a place where they feel safe and secure, knowing that they can kick back, chew and rest up because I'll be home soon.
Two of my favourite reading Home Alone Resources are:
Dr. Patricia McConnell - I'll Be Home Soon
James O'Heare - Separation Distress and Dogs
There's so much you can do to figure out a relaxation protocol for your worry wart. It does start with understanding body language, the biology of fear, anxiety, distress, and of course requires creative thinking and your time to help them work through this.
I've listed only a sample of what works for me. If you need help, and are located in the Vancouver, BC area, give DOGSmart.ca a shout!
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